Furniture

This morning, as I had my pretentious coffee,

I rifled through a pretentious magazine,

That came with the unpretentious papers.

Saw an advert for a store selling armchairs,

Their tagline was “Inspired by a dream”;

Amused, I wondered what furniture I’d churn,

If it were to be inspired by my latest dream,

A double homicide, a slasher on the lose,

With the knife dripping fresh blood,

Being chased by hungry hungry hippos.

Freud and Neitzsche, can you hear me?

Why do I always have red on my mind?

Yoga and Capoeira, Pilates and Jogging,

In Under Armour and no underpants,

Nothing brings more peace and joy,

Like dreaming of steel knife in windpipes.

Advertisements

Weekend

Weekend rang in,

Offices close at five.

Empty parking lots,

The old cigarette stench,

The pop of the bottle of wine.

Stage a protest at home,

Drive your Jeep, solicit in the dump.

“Late night meetings”, hahaha,

Dya think I was born without a brain?

GPS trackers and dropping pins,

Are for pathetic losers.

“Jackass, I can run you over”,

That’s not a threat,

It’s just your way of saying,

Fuck off, bitch.

Yes! This just in,

Don’t need to see your pin.

I know the skivvy bunch,

Even when it deals me a punch.

Why?

Hey old man,

When you hit yourself,

With that iron rod,

Because they didn’t listen,

Because they refused to grow up,

Because they dissed you,

Because they didn’t procreate;

You saw the evil in her heart,

You heard the vroom of the broom,

You felt the satan living within,

You tasted the poison she oozed.

Why didn’t you split her head in two?

Instead of getting eighteen stitches,

On your twisted but wise noggin?

Had you done that,

I wouldn’t have wanted to

Drink bleach and cut myself with glass.

Water

In the water we waded,

The starved and I,

We held hands and we hated,

The look in each other’s eyes.

Promises we made,

To better our bribes.

The shoal of fishes swam by,

Laughing at our sly.

The night lights were unforgiving,

The water was warm and wet.

The cockroaches were tittering,

The sand crept between the legs.

Together we promised,

To make hay while sun shines.

Who knew, the sun was clouded,

By blood in the fiery sky!

Six Degrees of Separation?

Shorts were made to not wear pants,

Pants were made to hide the legs.

Legs were made to walk with,

Walks were made to emancipate.

Emancipation was made to free.

Free was made to not hide.

Not hiding was made to do good.

Good was made to run the world.

World was made to be a better place,

A better place was made for the innocents.

Innocents were made to be trampled upon.

Trampling was made to prevail upon.

Prevailing was made to conquer all.

Conquering was made to usurp the lands.

The land was made to be covered in snow.

The snow was made to make snowman.

The snowman was made to have fun.

Fun was made to live happily.

Happily in shorts, now that spring is nearing!