There’d be a myriad of wise men and women on this platform, and I’d really appreciate some communication.
I am filled with rage, anger and suicidal thoughts over something as trivial as being cheated on.
I do not want to cry anymore, I do not want to be sad anymore. I do not want to think about it anymore. I want to erase the whole thing from my head. I have gone to the lengths of exploring (laughable) things like black magic, voodoo, witchcraft, electroshock therapy, lobotomy, hypnotherapy, what have you. I even stepped into a church, a mosque, a temple, a synagogue. Divine intervention didn’t work either. Medication, meditation, yoga, death metal, nothing worked. I drown myself in a sea of pills and alcohol. It hurts like a bitch. I can’t tell day from night, today from tomorrow. I have panic attacks in malls. I break down in public places. I have gone to psychiatrists and therapists and other horde of doctors. The only thing that keeps me calm is a hug from my husband and son. I’ve cried a river. I just have one simple wish now. I don’t want to be sad anymore.
So if there’s anyone out there who can help, please help a sister out. I am on the last rung of the ladder.